Friday, May 29, 2009

Happily Ever After

Girls have been indoctrinated by society believe that everyone will eventually have their happily ever after and that we should all wait for our Prince Charming to come and sweep us off our feet and ride off into the sunset . It’s incorporated into every Disney cartoon we’ve been made to watch since we can remember; every fairytale that’s been told to us as bedtime stories since we were young. And even now, as cynical as we may be, as realistic we have become, some small part of us still believes and hopes that we will be swept off our feet by The One. That’s right, the belief that somewhere out there, there’s this perfect guy for us all. And of course, he is the one that will give us our happily ever after through marriage. It is every girl’s dream- that big, white wedding.

But what happens after? What happens after the happily ever after? When things start to fall into a routine, when problems start to arise, when the person who we thought would give us that happy ending changes. Will love still prevail then?

I find too many women settle. They settle for whatever they have at the time due to various reasons. Pressure would one of the main reasons I think. When all your friends are off getting married and starting to have babies, you’d feel so left out. It may sound stupid now, but really the pressure is quite intense. When everyone is asking you whether or not you’re getting married soon and your own biological clock is ticking, you settle. Fear is another one. What if you break up with him now but can’t find another boyfriend after? Better to just continue. If it ain’t broken, why fix it right? Even if you don’t feel the sparks anymore, even if you realize that ultimately you and him seem better off as friends than lovers.

And that’s the root of most marital problems I think. That, and the fact that everyone takes forgranted of their other half. They forget that it’s the little things that matter. The simple I Love You-s, the habitual hugs and kisses that lets your partner know how much you appreciate them. Why do all these seem so common when people are dating, yet they dwindle off when people are married? The passion, the fire, where has it all gone?

And so, women turn a blind eye to their cheating husbands loveless marriages. Out of duty as a wife and mostly to their children. Especially in Asian societies. Ignorance is bliss but is feigned ignorance the same? I have seen so many, too many in fact, marriages that are not based on love anymore but a sense of duty to the kids. And they think the kids will sense that nothing is wrong. Oh, how naïve all these people are!

And of course, money. The main thing that holds most marriages together. The root of all evil indeed but all the same, it makes the world go round and people happy.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, in the future when we contemplate whether or not to say ‘I Do’, remember the consequences of those two words. Remember that this is the rest of your life. Messy divorces not factored in of course. Remember that you should be able to accept you partner for who they are and love them unconditionally. Remember that when you’re old and grey, you actually want someone that you’d be able to talk to. Remember that this arduous journey called life is meaningless unless we have someone to share it with. And make sure, that someone is the one you’re getting married to. Otherwise, it is rather pointless isn’t it?

So this is my note to my future self. My little reminder on my own happily ever after which is yet to come if I am blessed enough to enjoy one. On my last outing with Wee, she reminded me that I should find someone that would match my awesomeness, and settle for nothing less. Well, I fully agree. Let that be a reminder for every girl out there: You are awesome, and the person you’re with should totally appreciate your awesome-ness. Otherwise, he’s just not worth your time. He should accept you for who you are and you should never be belittled or made to feel inferior. It is my belief that for marriage to work and love to prevail, you should see each other as equals. Maybe not physically, but intellectually and emotionally.

Anyway, I attended two weddings in December last year. I sincerely hope that they find their happily ever after-s.

Staphanie and Jason's wedding

This was my first proper church wedding that I attended.

The church was pretty big and air-conditioned. Very cool.

Adorable flower girls. However, one of them got scared while walking down the aisle and started crying. The other had to pull her along. Awww.

My sister was the maid of honour. She looks lovely doesn't she? Her best friend was the bride.
Sorry for the poor quality pictures. I was still using my Casio at the time.

The pastor gave this speech that I totally did not agree with- about how women should submit to men and respect them. That respect comes before love and many other appaling things. But even worse was the people there actually AGREED with him and his views on women and were nodding their heads. Sigh, but I shall not mention it here lah. It is supposed to be a happy occassion after all.

Her dress with the super long train. I'm telling you guys now larh, if you want me to be one of your bridesmaids, please don't wear dresses with long trains however princessessy and fairytale esque it is. I don't want to spend every 5 minutes adjusting your train and making sure no one steps on it, including the groom. I am offending a lot of people by saying this hor? I forsee my name being cut off from the bidesmaids list liao but nevermind, I will still be happy to attend as a guest. ;)

The sisters.

Went to Coffe Bean after that to have a drink and get breakfast. Yummylicious-ness!

Pei Tze and Denzil's wedding

My cousin sister got married. :)

At the church waiting for the ceremony to start.

My cousin Michelle, who was the bridesmaid, and I at Jarrod & Rowlins for the wedding lunch.
Food was good!

Pre-dinner drinks before the wedding dinner.

And this was during the wedding dinner.

I am FINALLY done with all my assignments for the semester. It has been really a really hectic one I must say. Now I have to prepare for finals which are looming. Good Luck to everyone okay?

Currently reading- Grass For His Pillow by Lian Hern


This is the second book in the Tales of the Otori series. My father's business friend's wife (complex eh?) gave me the complete set as a gift after she found out I liked reading. So generous of her. She insisted that this series was one of her personal favourites because it was a really good read and I must say I agree with her. Check it out if you have the time. Highly recommended. Sigh, and this is what I've been doing. Reading storybooks from morning till night when I should be studying like Kit Mun. I just don't learn do I? I can't help it lorh, once I start reading, I cannot put the book down wan. To the extent that my mom had to confisticate my storybooks when exams rolled around when I was younger. It runs in the family larh. My sister and I are all bookworms at heart.
Last watched movies- The Host & The Fast and The Furious 4
The former because I had to watch it for Film Studies since one of the exam questions will be based on that. I was a little apprehensive at first since it was labelled horror and we all know how much I love horror films. But it turned out to be not scary but filled with lots of ideologies. I still find it amazing how a seemingly B grade Korean monster movie turned out to have awesome character development and many, many ideologies embedded within it which made it kind of interesting really. Now I understand why it won so many awards.
The latter I watched it again because I like the Fast and Furious series (I'm a sucker for fast cars, sue me) plus I had to supervise some guys who were doing some renovation work and had nothing to do all by myself. Adele came and teman-ed me after that for which I am grateful! Thank you darling Adele!
I really need to start studying larh. Make me feel guilty and yell and at me to study when you guys see me online. Maybe that'll help. Heh. ;P
Toodles for now.
Eh wait, TWO posts in a month leh. Got improvement liao. ^_^


Adele said...

WAh suddenly banyak update. XD

You're welcome lah. anytime!

And get your arse back to studying!!!

Swan said...

haha. Trying, trying Dele!!!
You know I'm a first class procrastinator wan larh. =/