Cut My Life Into Pieces.

As I grow older, I find that I have less tolerance and patience. Odd isn't it? One would think that as one grows older, one would acquire more tolerance and patience while learning to smile and communicate politely whenever the situation calls for it. In other words, knowing what to do and just the right thing to say for every situation.

I hate it. I have absolutely zero tolerance for entertaining nowadays. I hate how we have to pretend everything is okay and face the world when it's not. I hate the stupid save-face Asian culture we adhere to where everyone has to put on their best facade and pull on an unrecognizable mask whilst playing the ridiculous game of "let's pretend". I hate how everything is so perfectly contrived on the outside yet so irrepairbly broken on the inside. And in Greg's words, I hate the whole "dancing around short fuses and slighted feelings" situation. I hate how we have to be on our toes all the time. It's like dancing a neverending en pointe - everyone's shit exhausted but still has to stretch those facial muscles into a smile because the show must go on.

In spite of all these, the cracks still show. Then, why bother? Really... why do we bother to hide and pretend when you deliberately pour acid down the facade for it to corrode and let people bear witness to it. I don't understand how we became this way. I don't understand how the ties that are supposedly the strongest can be broken so easily and forgotten.

I'm sick and tired of this and will be glad to leave this all behind. Maybe leaving isn't such a bad thing anymore. Such a selfish thing of me to say. But I am. Selfish. I am probably the most selfish person on the face of this earth, but if it means I can pretend that it's not there and doesn't exist then whatever... I can't be bothered. If leaving is my one way ticket to get off this turbulant ride then I'd take it.

I think the first sign of imminent trouble is when you think it's okay. When you think it's justifiable for someone to treat you in a certain way. When you don't stand up for yourself or give yourself a voice. When you don't retaliate. When you feel inferior but in reality, you should be equal. When you settle. When you try to accomodate another person's needs to much that you forget what it is that you want. Forget the essential things that you need. That make you well, you. Forget yourself. You lost yourself in a search to help find someone else.

I think I'll make a promise to myself. I vow to never let anybody treat me in similar ways.

Screw this shit.

I don't know if I can.

Nothing Louder Than Silence

Currently listening to - Switchfoot's Hello Hurricane album (thank you Greg!)

"There are few things that Success is not... Success is not fame, money or power. Success is waking up in the morning, so excited about what you have to do that you literally fly out the door. Success is getting to work with the people you love. Success is finding a way of connecting and binding them together, making people feel. Success is connecting with the world. Success is falling asleep knowing you did the best you could. Sucess is joy, friendship and freedom. Success is love."

- Fame (2009)

This will be my reminder to myself - I have tasted success already. On the days that I feel like a failure, on the days that I feel under accomplished, on the days that I feel I am not enough... I will remember that I am. There is nothing more successful than loving your life, the people in it, the things you do.

I wish we could crystallize and bottle up moments like these. And when we don't believe anymore, all we'd have to do is just unscrew the cap and let the wonderful moments course through our veins again. Then, we'd have faith and strength and everything else that we think we lack to go on.

Different Names For The Same Thing.

Oh dear, I SO should not do Gastronomic Adventure posts when I'm hungry! Sigh... now all I can think about is food, food and moreeeee yummylicious food.

Anyway, I'm sure some of you have noticed the gradual disappearance of the restaurant known as Mr.Ho's Fine Food. My family used to frequent the one in Mid Valley for all things pork, which has since been taken over by Caring Pharmacy.

Apparently, Mr. Ho is quite the gambler and as gamblers usually do, gambled away his entire fortune, including his restaurants. However, the former Mr.Ho's at Plaza Damas managed to change hands and is now called The Meat Experts (TME) with the exact same menu and staff as Mr.Ho's (or so the manager claims).

We've since tried it out twice during the weekends and I can safely say that the food is pretty much the same. Except for the sausages which tasted slightly odd. Everything else was the same as before, so now you know where to go when if you've missed Mr.Ho's porky goodness!

Caesar salad with salami and pork! Dressing was fabulous!

Pork knuckle - my parents favourite! The skin is really crunchy and their mash is awesome too!

Spaghetti Carbonara! While the dish was creamy and sinful and good, my sisters and I still prefer their Signature Asian Pesto because they use coriander instead of basil making it super yummylicious and flavourful!

My favourite dish other than their Asian Pesto is this - TME pork ribs!

The meat is really tender and nice and the tangy sauce adds so much flavour. Thinking about it makes my stomache growl... =(

Om nom nom....

My sister thought I looked "cute" eating and decided to be trigger happy. I'm glad I amuse you jie. =.=

Garlic fries! <3

I'm a pretty big fan of garlic so I loved this snack since it had oodles of finely chopped garlic in it.

Don't order it if you're on a date I guess... unless the both of you are planning to eat it/loves garlic.

I think I need to go and snack on something now. Toodles!

Half Of My Heart.

Currently listening to - Daughtry's cover of Pokerface

We talk about tolerance, about muhibah, about living in peace and harmony.

We talk about love, forgiveness and the freedom of religion.

But that's just it, isn't it? It's all talk.

The actions of the ruling party are singing a much different tune.

I consider myself to be patriotic - I love my country, my home. I really do.

But as someone so eloquently put it, being patriotic doesn't mean agreeing with everything the ruling party does.

But lets leave it at that for the moment.

****************************************

My sister brought me for my very first No Black Tie sometime during the end of last year. Her friend Reza was playing and she wanted to go and support his act so I tagged along.

There was a cover charge but I've totally forgotten how much it was.

We had a late dinner there and although I've heard many complaints about the food, it was actually quite okay. The agadeshi tofu was passable and the shoestring fries were pretty standard but the mentaiko pasta left much to be desired.

I guess we'll stick to snacks the next time we go back.

This was the other band that was playing that night other than Reza's band. I missed the band's name due to the funny little man's (the one sitting on the tiny stool) heavy Indian accent. =/

My sister and I were pretty mean because we kept quietly giggling at the funny little man. Aiyo, I swear! He shouldn't sing larh. I mean their songs are quite good and the musical arrangements are pretty awesome... it's just that the lead singer is... for lack of a better phrase - an epic failure. They really should let somebody else sing. I've a feeling that the funny little man writes the songs and he should continue writing..his topics are quite political and very relevant to Malaysia (apparently he works for a newspaper which explains it) and he can continue playing the guitar but he really should just NOT open his mouth. I know it sounds quite mean, but trust me... our quiet giggling was nothing compared to the other people in the audience. They started talking and laughing really loudly and halfway through the set, they started yelling for Reza.

I must say I quite pity the funny little man. Haih~! His song entitled ISA Blues should really be the anti-ISA theme song.

Anyway, this is Reza Salleh and his band. The guitarist is apparently from Estranged, which was why he looked so familiar (I only found out after the performance).

I'm glad that Reza started a band. His original songs which he used to play solo sounds better when accompanied with a band.

The song that really got me hooked on Reza's music all those years ago was actually For Her. I think he gave a copy of his CD to my sister when they were in college and she used to play it at home. I remember listening to it and thinking it was a cool song. I think that's the only song that I'd prefer him to play solo.

All in all, it was a pretty cool experience and I'm glad we went though I had to work the next day and the gig only ended around 12am. It started on time though which is such a rare occurance in Malaysia.

There are so many talented Malaysian artistes out there. It's great that places like No Black Tie are willing to give exposure to them. I'm so sick of hearing all the same Malaysian bands again and again as opening acts for concerts. They really should have a little more variety.

Preview passes to watch Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant.

Ahh... the perks of working in the media industry! :D

Movie was so-so only though. I thought they could have done better in terms of the pacing of the movie. It was a leetle to slow for my liking. And more character development would have been nice.

Ah, I've just realized this post will probably be the last one regarding the events 2009!

I still can't wrap my head around the fact that it's 2010 already even though I've stopped saying "this year" when what I really meant was "last year".

Anyway, New Year's Eve was spent in Selesa thanks to Ann and Nick. ;)

It was a supremely last minute plan as it was only finalized that afternoon itself while I was at work.

Mel and I as we were on the way up!

Our accommodation for the night! Thanks Nick for picking us up and letting us stay at your place!

Our view of Genting. We stopped by the roadside half way up as we didn't want to go all the way up and jostle with the crowd there.

Night mode! I like how these night mode shots when all the lights transform into cute shapes due to the slow shutter speed. Yes, I know I am slightly weird.

The girls. I think what I liked the most about this trip was that it was so spontaneous. I liked how the whole trip came together without too much planning or hassle. It felt like one minute I was sitting in the office and the next I was enjoying the cooling breeze in Selesa.

Of course, the awesome company helped make the trip epic as well!

The crazy girls doing the flasher pose and the poor guys looking like they don't quite know what to do with us. :P

Love this self-timed group shot! I think it summarizes the whole trip - happy times!

Nick was actually carrying Ann bridal style but Mel and I blocked them. :(

Whoops!

I think this might be when the fireworks started which is why lovebirds #2 were looking up into the sky! :D

A super shweet picture nonetheless.

All I managed to capture of the fireworks. Lol XD Little poofs of light. The fireworks mode in my camera is CMI wan...must be super duper still then only can capture. Ah well. Typical la.

More flasher butt poses. This time we even left gaps for Ka-Yee, Joyce etc.

;)

The boys super layan us coz we wanted to stop by the roadside and camwhore.

So that's how we ended up doing jump shots on the road and whenever a car came we'd all rush back to the side. Adrenaline rush! :D

Unfortunately, the gastric that felt like it was eating away my insides kicked into full force by this time and I didn't feel much like camwhoring anymore. So I settled for being photographer instead!

The other girls went crazy though! I like this picture the best because it's so funny! Especially Mel! It's like she's trying to bait Mun and Ann with her military jacket but they don't wanna layan and want to take pictures instead!

More self-timed group shots! <3

All the epic poses. :D

After that, we headed back to Selesa and played Taboo!

And Gin Rummy as well.

Next, we moved on with Twister. It was so amusing seeing them figure out how to position themselves! That's probably why I was laughing so hard in the corner there. ;D

Totally twisted. Literally.

The boys went to sleep after a few gruelling rounds of Twister while the girls decided to indulge in an aunty pastime and played more Gin Rummy!

This is Aunty #1 who looks more like a lady boss!

Aunty #2

Aunty #3

Kc said this would look more real if I had Chinese Tea in the cup instead of Vodka + Sprite. =.=

Aunty #4 who Ann calls a zombie grandma! lol XD

All in all, it was a rocking start to 2010. Let's hope that it's an indication of how the rest of the year is gonna be.

Better Days.

I remember one morning getting up at dawn; There was such a sense of possibility. You know that feeling? And i remember thinking to myself, "So, this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts." And of course there will always be more. It never occurred to me it wasn't the beginning. It was happiness. It was the moment. Right then.

-The Hours

And that day was one of those days. It started out like any other. But as I was on my way to work, I stopped at the traffic light in front of BSC and just glanced up. It struck me how very beautiful the sky was - clear, blue, without any clouds whatsoever hovering above. Don't get me wrong, I'd gladly spend a day lying down, staring at the sky and making shapes out of the cotton candy clouds. But there are days, like that one, when I love how the vast sky is cloudless. Neverending.

And I felt it. That sense of possibility. Instantly, I knew that it was going to be a good day. Isn't it wonderful how simple moments like these can totally transform a mundane, ordinary day into something special? It's moments like these that I truly am glad I'm alive. I'm living, not existing.

Here's hoping everyday will be as awesome for all of you guys too! :D

War Sweater

And so, a new year begins...

2009 was a pretty awesome year for me. My first year at Monash could not have gone any better I think. I feel so sad at the thought of leaving it next, I mean this year. This year. THIS year. It's finally here. There are times when I think of this coming year, and all the uncertainties that lie ahead and I feel a creeping hollow sensation in my gut.

Then there are other times, when I think of this year - 2010, and all the changes it will bring and that stream of excitement bubbles into a fountain inside my heart.

I have not made any New Year's Resolutions these past few years. I think I don't believe in them anymore. Why should it take a new year for people to change? If you were really serious about it, change can start at anytime, anywhere.

The last new year's resolution I made was a few years back, after a crazy shopping spree in Aussieland (Boxing Day salesssss!), I vowed not to buy any clothes for the next 3 months. And I lasted for 5. I was very proud of myself. ;)

Anyway, here's to a fun-filled 2010 brimming with love, joy, laughter, occasional tears, rewarding experiences and enriching journeys.

Bring on that first year in Aussieland! :D

******************************

The last few weeks of 2009 were awesome. I hope I always feel this contented and happy.

Many thanks to Huey Li for inviting us to Elysium's club opening.

They played good music and we had fun!

With our driver for the night. Thank you Max!


Free flow of beer. ;)



Theme of the night was supposed to be Grecian. I think all of us looked a little too funky to be considered really grecian but hey, we tried!

And I find the concept of Asian gladiators very amusing. :P

On to Maison after that!

While I was on my way to Sr2ScA gathering, the sun was setting and it was so beautiful. The palette of colours that melded together in the sky just took my breath away! Unfortunately, I didn't have much time to snap a picture since I was supposed to be following Adele's car as I didn't know the way to Plaza Pantai. As a result of this picture, I nearly lost sight of Dele's car since two other cars cut in front of me. =/

It was great seeing everyone again. It's been nearly a year since I last saw everyone? Wayyy to long.

This picture was epic. They were all still talking and laughing when I wanted to take the picture but as soon as Ying counted to "3" everyone turned to look at the camera and smile! Always camera ready indeed. :P



Christmas Eve dinner at Alexis, Gardens!

That's two years in a row we've been dining there at Christmas Eve. What can I say? They have good food.

My pretty sister with the table deco.

We ordered dishes from their special Christmas menu.

This was one of our starters- Scallops and peas!

The scallops were huge, succulent and juicy making it ultra yummylicious!

Another Christmas starter - Mango and Chicken Salad in Balsamic Vinegar

Christmas mains - Crabmeat and Seafood Pasta

I totally forgot to take a picture of the other main courses (I told you I'm an epic failure as a food blogger) but I'm pretty sure they included Roast Turkey (which had good stuffing) and Alexis' famed Sarawak laksa.

Christmas Day dinner was spent with the cousins at Unique Seafood before we adjourned to Bar TwentyOne at Bangsar Shopping Center to count down to Min's birthday.

Oh, and Greg is back from Melbourne! :D

The sisters!

Our dessert! Christmas pudding, bananna mango mousse and some melted chocolate thingy that sent me to chocolatey heaven!

The bowls they use are super cute too.



Happy clappy times!

When the clock struck 12, we sang the birthday song and attempted to let Minny blow out the match. It took quite a few attempts, but we managed in the end!

Toasting! Their Long Island Tea is super lethal coz it tastes like lemonade but actually has a lot of alcohol in it. My sister and I both K.O-ed when we reached home after that. But that might also be a result of the combination of super lethal long island tea in addition to all the other drinks we had earlier. =/

Reena's turn at blowing out the match since her birthday was only 3 days away!

With the revolving Christmas tree.

In Greg's words: This is what Santa would look like if he were a Chinese Starfish. Complete with the sepet eyes somemore!

Boxing Day or rather Min's birthday was spent in Pavilion looking for er... my belated birthday present. =S



We had a gastronomic adventure at Cafe Stelle run by Raffles.

Their placemats are cool but very sharp. You can't lean your hands on it otherwise you'll get imprints.

Bread served with yummlicious sides - butter, salsa sauce and pesto.

My sister's latte came with these little sticks of brown and white sugar. So adorable!

Banger and mash.

The sausages were really good. I don't know how to explain it but the meat tasted really er... fresh? Not the processed meat flavour that lousy sausages sometimes possess.

Plus, the mash was super smooth too!

The salad that came with my sister's Healthy Set (includes dessert, coffee/tea and a main course)

I thought it was so-so. Nothing to shout about.

Butternut Squash Soup that was superb! Just the right amount of flavour and creamy-ness.

Pesto Linguine. This dish was absolutely delightful coz it the pesto flavour really came through.

Raspberry sorbet with peaches.

Typical kind of dessert.

After we settled my birthday pressie, we had Godiva for tea!

Pistacchio macaroon with a layer of Godiva choclate in the middle is heaven! My sisters and I are a wee bit obsessed with macaroons lately. Blame Delicious Ingredients for that!

Macaroon being washed down by our super yummylicious chocolate drinks- Dark Chocolate Decadence and Chocolate Raspberry.

That's all for now folks! I leave thee with a picture of me wearing all the funky headgear courtesy of my sister. Happy New Year once again and since Christmas last for 12 days, Merry Christmas too!